Bethlehemian rhapsody

This is hilarious.

"Good try, little buddy", king[sic] Saul replied, "but we need someone real big to face this brute..."

"I see a little bitty shepherd, not a man..."

(Thanks Gus)

Bathroom Rhapsody

Lily Violet, age 5 1/2, is singing in the bathtub.

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all-

The words are mostly correct, except for 'Sends shivers down my spine', which comes out as 'Send shiver to my spine'

The original.