Waiting music--home today? 10 February

Today, more antibiotics and more blood tests. If everything's clear, then back home from hospital.

Meanwhile here's Orlando Gibbon's version of Psalm 47, O clap your hands (with no clapping. As great as the British choral tradition is, they weren't going to go that far).

O clap your hands together, all ye people, O sing unto God with a voice of melody. For the Lord is high, and to be feared, he is the great King of all the earth. He shall subdue the people under us, and the nations under our feet. He shall choose out an heritage for us, ev'n the worship of Jacob, whom he loved. God is gone up with a merry noise, and the Lord with the sound of the trumpet. O sing praises, sing praises unto our God, O sing praises, sing praises unto the Lord our King. For God is the King of all the earth, sing ye praises with understanding. God reigneth over the heathen, God sitteth upon his holy seat. For God, which is highly exalted, doth defend the earth, as it were with a shield. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost, As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen Words from Psalm 47

Update: I’m home, with another little bag of pills. Today’s featured drug is Endone. I like this one!

38.5. 8 February 2022

 A brain foggy day in which I had every intention of getting some work projects done, but haven’t found the focus. 

Then Fiona came home with a new thermometer and my temperature is 38.5 degrees C. 

Written doctor’s instructions say anything above 38 is cause for concern, so call the hospital oncologist straight away. Done that, waiting for call back. 

I decided to keep the most important medications, as opposed to the ones I use just for fun, in a most important medication place. It’s taken about 24 hours to remember where that location was, but I found it now. Maybe I should stay safe by putting them all together in the same plastic bag and pulling out the one that best fits the side-effect of the day. 

Today’s featured drug of the day: Apo-metoclopramide.

Update: off to RNSH emergency. Blood count and likely antibiotics. Admitted for one night.

Wednesday Update: no infection detected, keeping me in hospital one more night plus giving a precautionary five day course of antibiotics. 

Sleeping 5 February.

 Various friends who know warned me that the next few days would be fairly full-on, given the amount of chemo they’ve hit me with. They were right! Just a lot of sleep. 

Happy 92nd birthday to my tennis playing dad. 

Drug of the day: Imodium. 

Who would true valour see

 

In Christ alone

 

It is well with my soul

 When peace like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to his cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

[For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.]

[But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.]

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul!

Oh yeah you can change the look of the blog

 My goodness my blog-fu is rusty. What does everyone think of this new look? Do I look fat in this? Do those planty things in the top right look like Coronavirus to anyone? Is that in poor taste if it does, or is it kind of topical?

Don't hold back, faithful readers. If this design looks sick in any way, I want to be the first to know.

Oh and so as not to depart from the main current theme of this blog, here is a cartoon in which Sylvester accidentally self-medicates himself with some experimental chemotherapy.

Chemo commences 2/2/22, Victor Frankl recommended.

 Portacath works like a dream. Chemo works like a scheme. By which I mean, it's started going in even as I type and we'll just have to see what happens next. 

So far no discernible side-effects, except for an increase in hovering medical personnel. One member of the treatment team came in and gave me a bunch of helpful suggestions and a showbag including a booklet called Chemotherapy with Ramsay Cancer Care. I asked her if she'd read Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning but she hadn't, so I guess we exchanged reading recommendations.

Victor Frankl was a Viennese psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. He wanted to know why, of those who weren't executed, some otherwise relatively healthy people died whilst a number who you might have assumed were in much worse condition lived. His book is his answer to his queston. Click on that previous link to see the blurb.

It is a bit weird being in a hospital with no visitors and I'm glad it's only until Friday. At least I can chat to the family on the phone any time. Thanks for those who are making contact; I'm usually not answering calls but plenty of time for text-based communication just at the moment. Please know that I read everything even if I'm not able to respond, this blog still seems to be the best way to give up-to-date information for those who want it. Most importantly you may occasionally find jokes.

Speaking of which, my current favourite comedian Norm McDonald (who died of bowel cancer late last year), may well have been a believer in the Lord Jesus. Here are a couple of serious interactions on the subject.

2.45 pm update

Oh! After just half an hour into the third lot of chemo drugs I am getting the warned-of side effects of pins and needles in my fingers. Not painful, but just a hint of what else might be going on. You can actually develop neuropathy over time, so this is one of the many things the doctors are going to need to monitor carefully. It doesn't seem like it would be great for piano playing or typing. But you never know. If Alkan can compose music for one-handed pianists, some clever composer can probably figure out music for those who can't use their fingers. Is that right? 

Oncologist SC visited, thought I was doing well but also warned that they were hitting me with the highest level of medication possible because they really want to stop progress quickly, therefore to expect lots more in the way of nausea etc, especially about day five or six after commencement of the cycle.

Postponed portacath leads to preaching possibility

 If the doctor, and not COVID, had had his way, I would have been straight into hospital for the first cycle of chemo last Thursday, including the installation of the fabled portacath. But that would have kept me in hospital and would meant that I'd have missed church.

 As it is, the visit to hospital is happening tomorrow (Tuesday), and will mean that I'm in for the first cycle of chemo until Friday.

But that postponement meant that I could also fit in the planned preaching for yesterday. The passage was Psalm 13, and you can catch the reading and the sermon at 22:00 in this video. It's a bit rambly, could have done with a sympathetic editor, sorry about that, but what a great Psalm.

Here's Psalm 13, a Psalm of lament:

Psalm 13

English Standard Version Anglicised

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

13 1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me for ever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
2 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him”,
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 6 I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

'Sickness' by JC Ryle

I'm a bit blog-rusty after basically only visiting this blog a few times over the last several years, so I only just figured out how to fix the widget at the top of the right column. There I was falsely promising a free first chapter of a book on Encouragement that I wrote many moons ago, but the link was long dead. 

(You can still pick up a copy of that book here if you want. The basic message is still one I believe and you may find it a subject that is of help. There's also a course that goes with it that some churches have used over the years.)

But that's not what this post is about. I've now changed the widget to link to a different booklet.

"I invite you to look with me at the subject of sickness. The subject is one which we ought to look in the face frequently. We cannot avoid it. We don’t need to have a prophet’s eye to see sickness coming to each of us in turn one day. “In the midst of life we are in death.” Let us pause and think about sickness as Christians. Thinking about it will not hasten its coming, and by God’s blessing may even teach us wisdom."

—From J C Ryle. Sickness (Kindle Locations 38-41). Matthias Media.  

This is a really good, brief and pastorally minded treatment of the subject of sickness and its relationship to death and the grace and providence of God. Won't take you long to read, and there is much of value in it to contemplate when you are sick.

JC Ryle was a 19th century bishop of Liverpool in England, yet his language is clear and blunt. Charles Dickens it ain't, he was writing for communication and not literary entertainment. Hey, Charles Dickens is great but you can watch screen versions of that on a streaming service these days. JC Ryle, not so much, you still have to read the words.

You can pick up a slightly language-updated version from the wonderful people at Matthias Media, here (in e-format as well). It's useful to have a physical copy or three because you can have them available as a resource at your church, or to give to friends who might benefit from it. Not me thanks, I've already read it several times. It's really good and gives you a lot to think about.

If however you want to be a cheapskate like me and read it for free, in slightly olde-worldier language but still really good and direct, then check it out here. In that 19th century version it's called Some Thoughts on Affliction. If you understand that title then you'll have no trouble at all understanding the rest of Ryle's text.

Oh and if that all sounds worth chasing up and reading, then while we're on the subject of straight-talking 19th century Bible preachers check out Charles Spurgeon's article on Depression, or as he titled it, The Minister's Fainting Fits (also free). He spent much of his life in the throes of depression and knew what he was talking about.

A fabulous pharmacist functions fittingly 29 January

 Yesterday Fiona and I got our #3 COVID shot; I wanted to get mine out of the way before chemo started and now that's done. Need a PCR test tomorrow afternoon as well.

Let me tell you though about our fabulous pharmacist Kev, a friend from Christ Church Gladesville years ago. He became a Christian there and in his spare time learnt Hebrew, just because he wanted to read the Old Testament a bit better. He knows of my cancer diagnosis and wanted to hear the latest. Being a typically efficient pharmacist he was able to do that whilst simultaneously giving both Fi and me a COVID booster each (Moderna), explaining that research showed that most negative vaccine effects had occurred amongst young men who had had their shots too close together, reassuring us about side-effects and giving us his family news as well.

The unexpected and blessed element was that after our COVID shots he offered to pray for us, and he did pray for us, asking for God's care and healing and entrusting us into the hands of our heavenly Father. He is a busy man, running a pharmacy and—as are so many health professionals—over-run by COVID matters, yet he took the time to do this. 

We have many lovely Christian medical friends and we have seen some professionally over many years. Prayer has never been a part of the expected service, but on this occasion we accepted with gratitude and thankfulness this encouragement from a brother in Christ. And really, if Jesus is our great healer—as Isaiah 53:5 teaches us—then what could be more fitting than such a humble prayer, acknowledging in the act the limitations of human medicine?

From Handel's Messiah, here is Isaiah 53:5 set to music.

Speeding up needs slowing down 27 January

 I was wrong. Today’s appointment was, I thought, to get a portacath inserted. Not so; that has to happen and soon but first a bit of jaw-jaw with oncologist SC and a briefing session about what to except during the chemo treatment cycle. 

But also, I was right! I’ve had the feeling that the cancer has been developing pretty rapidly—new symptoms like a persistent dry cough, an ache developing in the liver. Old symptoms, mainly fatigue, increasing. Ignorable nausea becoming unignorable nausea (‘oh no! I always have seconds but now I’m going to have to wait a few hours! What, I can only manage one Frosty Fruit for dessert?')

So this morning the doc wanted to book me into a hospital ward at RNSH and get me hooked up to chemo straight away. Couldn’t happen. Ward shut due to COVID in there. 

Earliest possible is Tuesday. At least this means I can preach on Sunday. And, although we’ve run out of Frosty Fruits, I rediscovered my stash of mango Weis bars. They were in the freezer all along! I'd been looking everywhere.

Booster booked while battling belligerent bureaucracy.

Quite tricky finding a place for a COVID booster but got Friday appointments for me and Fi.

Here are a few thoughts jotted down in the process: 

Looks like the doc is busy. Been waiting on phone for an hour, listening to a looping music tape with a voice that repeats ‘still queued announcement comfort message’. 

I’m sure it’s unintentional but I can’t think of any better substitute message they could have come up with.

Edit: At the sixty minute mark, a voice came on and said ‘no-one is available to take your call. Please leave a message’. 😧 

No great loss. Watched tennis and updated Facebook. Thought about the schedule for this evening and tomorrow morning (phone waiting does muck up the work routine a bit. Fiddles and juggles). 

Thankfully when the med practice dumped me from the system after an hour, I phoned the chemist next door and took just five minutes to get two appointments. Pharmacists save the day!

Interview at church Sunday 23 January

This Sunday morning I was interviewed briefly at church about the latest. Starts at about 13:00. There may be a little gap in the video—the bit where I explained  that I had to leave home rather suddenly due to daughter Ruby receiving a text notification about a positive COVID test. I went to stay with my dad.

Thankfully Ruby has now had a couple of negative RATs so I have just returned home today. Hooray and praise God!

I did have a planned PET scan on Friday. Nothing to report as yet. They don’t design those above-ground submarine-like structures to radiate comfort and assurance do they? They shoot you full of radioactive dye, your tumours start glowing in the dark and the machine zaps you with positrons, which sounds like it could be positive but I can’t really say. That supplies some images that doctors can use to refine treatment. 

I suppose if I wanted to feel a bit more comfy I could have sought out homeopathy. 

This would be maybe a good time to give a disclaimer about my medical expertise: ‘I don’t know much about medicine, but I know what I like.’

In any case, our Lord Jesus is the great physician and he will decide how matters unfold. 

Oncologist says yes to chemotherapy

 Met with oncologist (Dr Stephen Clarke) this afternoon. Diagnosis further confirmed, yes it’s still cancer. Through testing for certain genetic markers they have excluded any immunotherapy at this time. 

However the chemotherapy is all systems go. Before that certain steps need to happen.:

1. Some more tests to rule out or open up specific treatment options.

2. Insert a porta-catheter, in about a week, to facilitate safe and effective chemotherapy delivery. Information about that is here.

3. Ideally get a third COVID booster before chemo begins, as this should happen when the immune system is strong. Chemo weakens the immune system so best to get this done now.

Because of these steps in the process, plus the Australia Day holiday, actual chemo (which is a day procedure) most likely will start the following week.

The other advice was to keep working (if I want, which I do), keep exercising, and don’t lose weight. That includes no major dietary changes.

The chemo is highly unlikely to remove or cure the cancer. But the idea is to shrink any tumours down to improve the possibility for successful surgery.

Dr Clarke by all accounts is a master of his craft. He is also a nice guy with a genuine concern to know the person as well as the problem. We have a number of people we know in common, including an oncologist on his team.

As a family we are concerned, wanting to get chemo going, and convinced that God is king.

Oh and happy 37th anniversary Fi! After all these years we still love each other. 

A tired day (Tuesday 18 January)

 Managed a little work including some church planning.  The ache in my liver is increasing daily and today it was restricting my breathing. I know nothing but my intuition tells me that whatever is happening, it is happening fast. 

We shall see. Oncologist tomorrow afternoon, Wednesday, at 2.20. 

Waiting music

 Just waiting for a call from the oncologist today to work out when I can see him. Got a few cancer specialist friends who speak highly of him.

Not everybody appreciates dark humour at a time like this, so if that's you scroll on. But if you have a taste for the mordant and absurd, here is Norm Macdonald, a Canadian comedian who died of cancer late last year.

And here is my favourite version of Norm's driver's famous moth joke.

COVID negative so carry on

 Thanks to my wonderful church, St Barnabas East Roseville, I was able to get a Rapid Antigen Test fairly straightforwardly (thanks Alby). Negative result which is good news and confirms yesterday morning’s negative RAT result.

That means I will stay at my dad’s place, separate from my family for the moment (Ruby has COVID), but with greater confidence that I’m not a risk to my dad, and that any other medical treatments will not have COVID-related complications. 

All proceeds according to God’s perfect plan.

A colonoscopic COVID complication

 So far, so good, in the sense that our great God continues to work to his glory and our good. 

But the path has taken a sudden COVID-related turn. 

I’m feeling a lot better, especially after taking advantage of some Uber Eats (thank you kind friends) to have the first proper dinner in days, after some necessary fasting.

However during dinner Ruby got a text; the results of a COVID test. She’s tested positive. At time of writing, that was just over an hour ago.

That is complicated in all sorts of ways, especially given my medical appointments and possibly starting chemo in the next few days. Not the best time for me (or anyone really) to need to isolate.  

I’ve had two RATs in the last three days, negative both times including this morning. I’ve had virtually no contact with Ruby today and don’t fit the current rules about close contacts. Also no symptoms. 

What now?

I said to Fiona and the girls: Girls, I love you. But not enough to hug you, or kiss you, or even stay with you. I am about to be the RAT deserting a sinking ship. But you are in my prayers. Goodbye. 

They took this with good grace. Fiona was going to see her sisters tomorrow. Matilda has a modelling gig on Sunday. Lily would like to go to church. So really, complicated for everyone. Ah well.

Anyway  I left home straight away and now I’m at my dad’s. His place is big enough that I can, even tonight, have my own room (ventilated and separate) and my own bathroom. We are communicating by phone. As usual he is relaxed about the situation, which I guess you might be if you’ve reached the age of 91 and can still play tennis twice a week. 

This is less than ideal for all sorts of reasons, including my need to assume for his well-being that I’m COVID positive until proven otherwise. Praying that I can find a RAT tomorrow. 

[Edit 15/01 I found a RAT! Thanks to God as always for the faithful members and leaders of St Barnabas East Roseville]

Nothing is conclusive in this life but if it’s a negative, that will be good enough. Three strikes and COVID is out. Or at least, if I can then stay isolated until my next medical meeting.

Sadly that cuts out church on Sunday. They, like most, only got this news less than a week ago. It would have been great to see people personally and thank them for the many ways they have rallied around during a crisis.

That day will come, just a little later than anticipated. To God be the glory.

Colonoscopy confirms diagnosis, oncology next week.

 I must say those colonoscopy prep solutions they give to clear the system are singularly effective. 

Anyway, yes it is confirmed metastatic bowel cancer, and I’ll be seeing oncologist specialist Stephen Clarke of Sydney Uni next week, then probably chemo. 

The anaesthetics guys are good too. I just went to sleep and woke up, no grogginess, no fogginess, just ready for my sandwiches. No driving, no signing legal documents for a day, that’s it. Oh, when family members give you life insurance documents to sign, that’s just pre-approval isn’t it? Asking for a friend.

Some lovely church people have been sending food and flowers. Now that I don’t have to fast, I will enjoy both and not just the latter. 

Colonoscopy postponed

 Now scheduled for Friday. 

I’ve been asymptomatic except for fatigue but have noticed a continual ache in the liver area developing over the last few days. 

Health update 11 January 2022

 Visited colorectal specialist yesterday. Given the words of my GP and looking at some reputable websites, I was expecting to be in surgery in fairly short order. However the plan is colonoscopy and then most likely chemotherapy.

We had a useful discussion about five year survival rates. If you have a look at this article you will see that the second paragraph gives a five year survival rate (for my type of cancer) of just 13.4%.

However my specialist made the following points:

1. Due to improved treatments in recent years, even the recent data will be somewhat out of date.

2. This is a national figure that doesn't take into account any specific demographic or other distinctions. Even within Sydney, if you go to a particular treatment centre in Western Sydney the five year survival rates sit at about 20%. The place I'll most likely be treated at, on the North Shore, is probably closer to 40%. Clearly other factors are at play, most likely demographic rather than relating to quality of treatment.

3. Five year survival rates are a useful but blunt instrument. You may be completely cancer-free after treatment, and then at the five year mark die of a (probably) unrelated cause like a heart attack. You would still be included in the statistics, even though the death couldn't be specifically ascribed to cancer.

It was a good conversation. Clearly 20% or 40% survival rates are significantly better than 13.4%, though still cause for concern.

If you or someone you know has a cancer diagnosis, there is a lot more relevant information to consider than just what can be discovered via Dr Google, as my friend Dave McDonald reminded me.

Speaking of which, find his book about his cancer experience, Hope Beyond Cure, here. The clever title gives the clue as to what it's about. Recommended!

  

A surprise: Cancer 2022

 Our great and perfect God is full of surprises for those who trust him!

I learnt on Thursday, in the course of apparently unrelated tests, that I have advanced metastatic bowel cancer. I will see a specialist today and expect that events will now move quite swiftly. It was a little unexpected in that apart from fatigue it has been largely asymptomatic. 

I have no fear whatsoever for the future, but complete trust in a loving God who gave his Son that those who know him might have life. I feel sadness for my family and my 91 year old dad, but no sense that this is anything but God’s perfect plan. 

I am thankful for friendship and if you pray, that would be appreciated including for the family, and that God’s glory would be revealed.

Welcome to 2021

 Thanks to God that he has carried us this far. May he lift us into eternal glory in Him, through the forgiveness of our sins, only through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Dealing with repeated failure

Consider Peter’s failure in Galatians 2. 11 But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. 12 For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. 13 And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. 14 But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?” We know the apostle Peter’s reputation as the biggest and best disciple, for he shows moments of true greatness. He is the first disciple named in Matthew, Mark and Luke’s gospels. He is the first disciple to clearly understand that he is not worthy of Jesus: “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” (Luke 5:8) His absolute moment of greatness comes when he confesses ”You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God”. He is the first to recognise who Jesus really is. Following the crucifixion he is first, after the women, to rush into the cave tomb after the resurrection and realise that Jesus’ body isn’t there. But just as much as the spectacular successes are the equally spectacular failures. Peter has a habit of telling Jesus off, beginning with his implied complaint about Jesus telling him where to cast his net (Luke 5:5). Or the time early in Jesus’ ministry where he tells Jesus off for disappearing from public ministry to pray. “Everyone is looking for you”, chides Peter. Later he tells Jesus he’s not going to die, provoking from Jesus the response “Get behind me Satan”. And just before Jesus’ crucifixion, he denies Jesus 3 times in the High Priest’s courtyard. “I never knew him”, says Peter. But then we have this story in Galatians 2. It’s something else again. Peter has been completely rehabilitated, Jesus has restored to him the job of making disciples. In the power of the Holy Spirit, he’s done a heroic and consistent job in the face of fierce opposition. He’s even gone out on a limb and preached to the Gentiles, and seen them become Christians before his own eyes, a fact he will testify to before the Jerusalem council. Now though, his fellow Jews have put him under pressure, and he has slowly withdrawn himself from table fellowship with the Gentiles, his brothers and sisters in Christ. So much so that Paul, a junior apostle, publicly tears strips off him. It is all the worse because he’s been forgiven and restored from failure so many times  previously. He even possesses God’s Holy Spirit. Yet even now, the unstoppable love of God continues to be poured out. Later in life, the chastened Peter will joyfully suffer for his Saviour. Tradition says he was crucified upside down for his faith. Likewise, according to tradition, it is Peter who dictates Mark’s gospel; he writes two letters for the encouragement of suffering Jewish Christians. This repeatedly failing shepherd of the sheep is used to feed God’s sheep yet once more. We too will fail, and fail often, sometimes disastrously. In the mercy of Christ, and by continued trust in him, God restores. God's name can and will be glorified in our darkest moments.

Can we have a personal relationship with God? The Psalmist speaks.

Just for the fun of it I made a list of Psalms which seem to clearly express a close personal relationship with Jesus (setting to one side but not forgetting that they are frequently addressed by the Son to the Father, for example 2:7 "The LORD said to me, 'You are my Son, today I have begotten you'" or 3:3 "But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head"). I deliberately excluded any Psalms that didn't explicitly use "I-you" language eg Psalm 1, Psalm 11, or any that seemed borderline eg Psalm 12; arguably this was a mistake.

I found these fit the pattern:

2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10 13 16 17 18 ("I love you, O LORD, my strength") 22 23 25 26 27 28 30 31 32 34 35 38 39 40 41 [42 is excluded only if you do not link it to 43] 44 51 52 56 ("You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle.") 57 61 62 63 65 66 69 70 71 73 77 84 86 88 (by speaking of its opposite) 91 (twisted by Satan because he implied that the relationship might *not* be that close) 92 94 101 102 103 ("who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles." Not 'I-you' but surely deserves inclusion) 109 116 118 119 121 123 130 138 139 ("O LORD, you have searched me and known me!...Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.") 140 141 142 143 145.

It could reasonably be argued that this exercise is of limited value on these grounds:

(1) Every Psalm, even where a personal relationship with God is not spoken of explicitly, assumes the reality or the potential for such relationship. Therefore, the list should include all 150 Psalms.

(2) Every Psalm is intra-Trinitarian in nature, expressing the relationship of the Son to the Father through the Spirit. Therefore, it is not possible for them not to be deeply personal in character, and when we use them for our own, we are expressing this personal relationship 'en Christo', in Christ. Therefore, the list should include all 150 Psalms.

(3) If we note that many of the Psalms are 'of David', then our relationship with God is closer than his, because we are of the New Covenant, and it is impossible to imagine a negative answer to the prayer "take not your Holy Spirit from me" (Psalm 51:12), for this would involve our Lord in teaching his children to pray a prayer that he then refused to honour, which would contradict his promise to us in Luke 11:10-13.

Engaging with Islam in Australia today.

A week ago I attended a talk by Dr John Azumah, lecturer in World Christianity and Islam at Columbia Theological Seminary.

You can find my notes at the CMS Checkpoint Online website, here:

http://checkpoint.cms.org.au/home/engaging-with-muslims-azumah-lecture

Bruce Linton and I have hung out for a bit talking about children's ministry, and slowly, in various ways and places, some of that material is leaking out

Here's the latest, some video material that a friend put up on the Effective Ministry website. It is great stuff!

Actually, this could be the most useful post on this blog

How about this list of free resources, courtesy of Kevin Halloran?

250+ Free Online Seminary Classes, Courses, Programs, and Book Recommendations

Top commentaries on the Bible.

This could be the most useful post on this blog!

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2014/04/02/the-top-5-commentaries-on-every-book-of-the-bible/